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Writing Your Own Marriage Vows

It certainly has become a hot trend among brides and grooms today to write their own marriage vows, as they are seeing marriage as less of a formal affair and more of a personal matter between the two of them. Brides and grooms want to make sure that their marriage vows reflect their own personality but their own approach to marriage as well. The old standard vows that included oaths to "obey" and ancient language that no one uses today can seem dry and stale to many modern couples. The use of one's own marriage vows can also allow the couple to relate something personal that makes them know that this person is "the one."

Before you just immediately sit down with pen and paper and think that you're going to crank out something clever and that all your guests will love it, there are some very important tips and hints you should keep in mind. First, remember that these are your own personal marriage vows, but they are still considered something very serious in the eyes of many people - and one of those people might by your intended spouse! If you write what sounds more like a comedy club routine or a celebrity roast, he or she may think that you were just very thoughtless and obviously don't take your marriage vows, and possibly even the marriage itself, very seriously. Also, you may have ones in the audience or be standing in front of a minister that would also appreciate some decorum and dignity during this event.

Remember this point when adding personal touches or stories to your marriage vows. Leave out anything that might be considered vulgar or crass, including references to the wedding night or how surprised you were that the bride is wearing white. These jokes might go over a bit better at the reception when everyone is more relaxed, if even then, but probably should not be included in the actual marriage vows. Remember this point also if you're going to be relating any personal stories about the two of you. If you met in a nightclub or bar, that may be okay, but to talk about how you spent that first night together might not be okay. Use some discretion and tact, and if you're in doubt about whether or not something is appropriate, be on the safe side and leave it out.

A good tip for writing your own marriage vows is to recite the vows that your minister or other officiant has for you, and then simply elaborate on why you love this person or when you knew they were "the one." Find something sweet and innocent, and it's okay if it's amusing, such as when you were at that pizza place and they left the last slice for you, or when you had to stop during a walk to rescue a lost kitten. These types of innocent stories are more appropriate for marriage vows than anything else might be.

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