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Tackle Marriage Problems Head-On

There is a tendency among many married people to ignore their marriage problems, either in the hopes that they will blow over and go away, or because they're not sure how to actually solve those problems. They may have had argument after argument with their spouse about the same thing and have gotten nowhere, and so think that there is just no resolution to these marriage problems. And since they don't see a resolution, why bother to talk about them or face them?

This thinking can be very dangerous. Marriage problems rarely just go away. While there may be times when one spouse is just upset about something or someone says or does something that is better left alone, the larger problems rarely dissipate. Typically they even have the tendency to just get worse and worse over time. And when there are small rifts between two people or minor issues, these larger marriage problems can make that rift bigger and bigger until a couple may teeter on the brink of divorce. Like a cut that might be prone to infection, it's usually better to address these issues when they're still minor rather than ignore them until they're major issues.

If you've had several arguments with your spouse about the same issue, this might be a signal that it's time to do some compromising. Many marriage problems are caused by both spouses thinking that their way is right or the best way of doing things, or they just want what they want and aren't willing to budge. This might include issues about child raising, the budget, where to spend holidays, and so on. Take an honest look at yourself, and of course your spouse needs to do the same, and ask if these marriage problems are caused by both of you just insisting that you get your own way and neither willing to compromise - or all the compromising being done by one person. Have you both really tried to apply a spirit of cooperation and compromise in these things? Have you both really thought about how the other person must feel, or are you only interested in protecting your own feelings? Most marriage problems can at least be alleviated a bit when both spouses start to think of themselves as a couple and stop worrying about their own interests as an individual!

There are some marriage problems that might need outside intervention. You may have done all you can think of and tried everything you can to fix the problems, but are at a loss. There is absolutely no shame in talking to a marriage counselor about these things. Sometimes he or she can say something or explain something in such a way that you suddenly have a much better understanding of your marriage problems and how to address them. Communication can be improved and tensions relieved between spouses. So don't hesitate to speak up and see a counselor if your marriage problems seem to be out of your hands.

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